


I Want To Be There For You Even Though You Don't Need Me To

by sentimental_boy



Series: Eggsy Unwin shorts [1]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 22:50:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19451104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sentimental_boy/pseuds/sentimental_boy
Summary: You're training when another agent discovers your hearing aid and rips it out of your ear. Eggsy had no idea you had a hearing impairment, despite knowing you for years, but jumps to your defense anyway.





	I Want To Be There For You Even Though You Don't Need Me To

You're sparring with another agent when you feel your chest hit the mat and your arm pulled at an unnatural angle behind you. Unfortunately for the other agent, it isn't going to be so easy to take you down. It's as you're getting ready to get the upper hand again that your sparring partner cries an indignant: No tech during training! If the position you were in suited it, you'd look around for the source of his whining. But you don't have time to figure out what he's on about because you feel him grab at your ear, yanking a £2,500 piece of equipment from your head and throw it across the room. A blind rage overtakes you for the next few seconds because when you look down at the agent beneath you, you aren't sure which moves you used to get him there. It doesn't particularly matter, you suppose.

"It's a hearing aid, jackass. It's specifically stated in the rules that hearing aids, cochlear implants, glasses, contacts, and prosthetic limbs are permitted. I know the goddamned rules."

"And time," Merlin calls.

You hold the other agent down a couple more seconds than is strictly necessary, but no one says anything about it. When you stand, you start looking around for your hearing aid. "Did anyone see where it landed?"

Eggsy saw one of the others pick it up. He's not dumb enough to think that he's keeping it safe for you, but he's hoping the other agent will change his mind after seeing you beat his friend for being a dickhead about it in the first place. It'll be better for everyone that way.

"No one?"

Eggsy gives the other agent— and the ones snickering around him— a couple of seconds to come forward, but none of them do. "I saw." He announces as he raises his brows at the others, still waiting.

"You gonna spit it out or what, Unwin?" You ask.

"I know you're mad, but I ain't the enemy here. These dickheads think they're funny. You see, when I saw this fine agent here pick it up while you were fighting, I was hoping he was keepin' it safe for you. Because we're a team here at Kingsman. Isn't that right?" He started walking over to the others with you while he was talking. "We're also supposed to be Ladies and Gentleman here, ain't we?"

"Well, I don't see her being particularly ladylike." One of the agents quips.

"Don't you fuckin' pull that shit," you snap. "You know damn well what he means. Unless you weren't paying attention during your training. How the hell you lot made it in, I don't know."

"We could say the same thing about you two. Well, it's clear how you got in." He rakes his gaze along your body. "Despite... your issues." He opens his hand and examines your hearing aid.

You grab it from him, grinding your teeth together. You notice Eggsy opening his mouth to go off but you cut him off. "Yeah, it's quite clear. I mean, I kicked his ass without it." You turn and take your leave before you lose your temper.

You hear Eggsy toss a "Fuckers" in their direction as he follows you out.

You usually could care less about what people think, but sometimes the way the guys treat you like an outsider gets to you . Especially when you have more experience than any of them. "Thanks for what you did back there, Eggsy."

"It's part of the job. We're a team." He bumps shoulders with you. "Even if that lot don't act like it." He pauses. "Mind if I ask you about it?"

You shrug. "Guess not."

"You sure? Don't want you feelin' obligated."

"I'm sure. I know you're sincere, Eggs. Anyway, it's you."

He grins at the nickname for his nickname you've taken to calling him. "So, I noticed you haven't put it back in but you're still responding to me. How bad is it?"

"Not terrible, although it seems worse since I got my hearing aid. I'm more aware of the absence of sound when I'm not wearing it as opposed to when I didn't have it at all."

"That makes sense. You get used to hearin' things, it must feel like you're missin' somethin' without it." He looks down at where you're still holding the hearing aid in your hand. "There a reason you're not putting it back in now?"

You shrug, glancing down at it. "It's just you and me out here. I can hear you fine."

He nods. It's not lost on him that your excuse goes in direct contradiction with what you said about missing sound in general when you're not wearing it. He hopes you're not embarrassed or anything but knows better than to ask. "So, you only have hearing loss in one ear?"

"Yeah."

There's another pause but Eggsy is determined to not let this become awkward. "How does that affect you, you know, on a daily basis?"

"I can't hear where sounds are coming from. If you're standing on my bad side, I can hear that you're talking, but I have to really concentrate and there can't be any background noise if I'm going to understand what you're saying. Otherwise, it sounds like you're talking through a pillow."

"So, I'm on your good side now?" He checks, looking at you with earnest eyes.

"Yeah. Both physically and in general."

It takes him a second to process, but when he gets it, he lets out a laugh. "I'm glad."

"Me too. You know, you're one of the only fuckers here I trust."

He sighs. "I'm glad you trust me, but that ain't how it's supposed to be." He pauses. "Merlin and Harry good in your book?"

"Of course. But it means a lot that you'd check with me even though you're so close with them."

"They've got me through a lot, but they can be cold. Part of the job."

"Yeah. Speaking of: Merlin's sending me a transmission." You tap the side of your glasses, accepting the stream he's sending you. When the visuals pop up, you see that he has the agents who were harassing you lined up and he's giving them a stern talking to. You let out a laugh.

"What is it?" Eggsy asks.

"Merlin wired me into the talk he's having with the boys back there."

"What? I want to see!"

You hold your finger to the side of his glasses, signing yourself into his system.

"What's he saying?"

"He's reiterating what it means to be ladies and gentleman in this organization. That they aren't the traditional, patriarchal values usually associated with the words. That at the core, it means you treat your fellow people with respect." You pause for a minute, just listening. "He's telling them he shouldn't have to waste his time telling them this again."

During another lull, Eggsy sees their faces drop in shock before they all start talking at once.

"Oh, Shit!"

"What?"

"Sorry, he suspended all of them from active duty until he can schedule a time to put them all through orientation again ."

Eggsy breaks out into a grin, putting his finger to the side of his glasses, letting it sign him back into the system before he throws an arm around your shoulders, shaking you gently. "See, they got what's comin' to 'em. And we won't have to see them for a while."

"Guess they did." You try not to lean into him too much. It's hard when one, he has his arm around you so tight, and two, you love his embrace so much. When all you want to do is rest your head against him, close your eyes and let him lead you. Then Merlin interrupts, asking you to meet him and Harry in the board room. You clear your throat and pat Eggsy on the back awkwardly. "I have to go, Merlin called me to the board room."

"Okay." He lets you go and if you're not mistaken, he looks a little sad about it. "I'll uh, I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Yeah."

—0—

When you get to the board room, Harry and Merlin are sitting on either side of the table, waiting.

"Hello, y/n. Have a seat." Harry motions to the head of the table.

You know full well that even though you have a bond with these two men— being part of the original Kingsman— in this room, you're agent Ambrose. You also know that everything Merlin and Harry do is deliberate. From the use of your real name to their positions at the table. So, you're here to discuss a personal matter, and they feel bad about it. Keeping today's training session in mind, it looks like your hearing impairment and the secrecy surrounding it is the subject matter of today's meeting.

You almost call Harry Galahad— old habits, even if you've learned to call Eggsy that as well. Since Kingsman fell, the few of you left voted to make Harry the new Arthur. "Arthur, Merlin."

"Please, it's Harry when it's just us and you know it."

"Yeah, the effects of this room, I guess."

"Would you like to move elsewhere?"

You roll your eyes. "I'd like to get this conversation over with."

"Right, well, make yourself comfortable and we can get on with it."

You take a seat at the head of the table as Harry directed when you walked in.

"Now, let me start by assuring you, we are dealing with those boys. As I'm sure Merlin already informed you."

Before Harry can continue, Merlin cuts to the chase. "We just want to know why you've never told us about your hearing. We know the organization has never been as trustworthy as it should've been, but it's us."

"I know. Guess I didn't see a reason. I got through training without it. The aid helps me now and I didn't want that on any records."

"Why not? You know there's nothing to be ashamed of." Harry asks. "Besides, our job is to keep things confidential."

"I know. But as we saw today, other agents can be assholes. I didn't want there to be one more reason for them to think I'm incapable." You clench your teeth. "I get enough of that as it is for being a woman in this field. Just like Eggsy gets it for not going to a prestigious school."

"We understand that," Harry says. "I was the one who recruited Eggsy, fought for him. I'll do the same thing for you for any reason. You've more than proven yourself and I've known you longer. We needed you to know that we're here for you, is all."

"I know you are. It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. This," you gesture to the room at large. "Is what I was trying to avoid."

"Yes, that makes sense. We'll try to be more informal next time."

You laugh. "Come on, I know you guys. You couldn't turn off your sense of decorum if you tried. And that's part of what makes you who you are. It's not a bad thing, I don't take it personally, but I feel like I'm under a microscope here."

"I guess that's another thing that's a part of me." Harry sighs, thinking about his preferred career path as a young boy. "It's no matter. That's a reasonable explanation for not telling us, but Eggsy was just as surprised. I know you two are... especially close."

"Not this again. For the last time, we aren't a couple."

"I didn't say you were." Harry placates you.

You're not fooled but if pretending you are is your way out of _that_ conversation, you'll take it.

"Anyway, that's not what we're talking about."

"Thank fuck." You mumble.

"I know it's easy to revert back to your training. Compartmentalize, don't show your hand. It's an important skill to have as an agent. But it stops being a skill when you apply it to your personal life. As your friends, we're here for you and I know the same goes for Eggsy."

As much as you hate this whole situation, you can see where they're coming from. You know it's only a matter of time before a movie night with Eggsy turns into the same thing. "Thanks, guys. I know this is hard for you to get out too. I don't know how I would approach this with someone else. I probably wouldn't. Eggsy always complains that he's the odd one out, being the only one who knows how to express his emotions. Guess he's right."

"Right, well, since we all understand each other, Merlin, would you tell her about your idea?"

"Of course. You know of all the resources we have at our disposal— especially now, working with the Statesman. I can work with specialists to design you a hearing aid for the field. We can make it waterproof, more durable, it can double as a com, we can make the battery last longer— maybe even self-sustaining, we could get you better audio quality, the possibilities are endless if you'll give us a shot at it ."

You let out a breath. "Do you guys take my insurance?"

Neither Harry or Merlin find the humor in this, judging by the looks on their faces. "You know very well that we'd write it off as a Kingsman expense. You don't have medical benefits here because we are the medical benefits." Harry answers.

"Yeah, the cause and the solution."

"Precisely. We all know the risks, so we must take care of each other while we're here."

You can tell they feel bad about this because neither one of them is even giving you a disapproving look at your tendency to make light of everything.

"Well, I appreciate it."

"So, is that a yes?" Merlin asks.

You shrug. There are few things you hate more than this feeling in your chest. The one that makes you feel small, unworthy. It's a feeling that you had to fight against for so long, one that dominated your childhood and early teen years. Now that you've learned whose opinion matters, you're not used to having to feel it anymore. But here you are, feeling that sheepishness you hate so much because these men won't stop offering their support. "I guess. Thank you."

"Don't mention it." Harry smiles.

"It'll be an interesting project for a friend, not a chore," Merlin assures.

"Still, I know it's not cheap."

Harry leans forward, his hands threaded together on top of the table. "It's a drop in the bucket for this organization. Both Kingsman and Statesman firmly believe in taking care of their employees. It's the least we can do with how much we ask of them. You're no exception."

—0—

When you finally get out of that meeting, you check your phone to find four texts from Eggsy.

 _Do you want to hang out tonight?  
_ 17 minutes later:  
 _I know you're busy right now, obviously, but I need to talk to you.  
_ 12 minutes after that:  
 _Shit, that's a horrible way to ask to talk to you. Sorry, it's nothing bad, just need to get something off my chest.  
_ 11 minutes after that:  
 _Still anxiety-inducing, I know. I promise everything's fine._

You decide to put the poor guy out of his misery and call him.

"How'd it go?" He asks as his greeting.

"It was fine, Harry and Merlin were being emotionless weirdos while trying to encourage me to open up to them."

He lets out a laugh at that. "So you fit right in there, didn't you?"

"It's a good thing I like you, Eggsy, otherwise I'd have to beat you for that."

"Damn, I'm missing out, then."

You elect to ignore his flirting. "Alright, alright. Where do you want to go?"

"I got dinner going at your place."

"You know, that's not what I gave you a key for."

"That wasn't a complaint though, was it?"

"We'll see."

"You will. I already know it'll be delicious. My mum taught her son how to cook."

It was times like these when you could see why Harry and Merlin thought you two were together. As it is, you have to be painfully aware of yourself at all times to make sure you don't do something stupid like kiss your best friend. "See you soon, Eggsy."

—0—

When you open the door, Eggsy looks up from his spot in front of the stove in your little studio.

"Hey, love." He rounds the counter to jog over, pulling you in for a hug. He has to stop himself from giving you a peck on the cheek. As it is, he already feels like he's being obvious. In fact, he knows he is. He doesn't want to cross any lines and make you uncomfortable.

"Hey, what's all this about?"

"Come on." He murmurs as he takes your hand, walking to the table, before pulling your chair out for you.

"Eggs, are you confessing your undying love for me or something?"

His pause is this side of too long but he tries to put you at ease. "Hang on a minute, will ya?" He says in mock annoyance. "You just got home, calm down." He brings the plates to the table, sitting across from you.

"You're not fooling me, Eggsy. What's going on?"

"Sorry, it's uh," you threw him off with your question and for a minute, you even sounded like you wouldn't mind if he was confessing his love. He glances around before his eyes fall on your worried ones. "Wow, I'm havin' a hard time tonight, ain't I?" He lets out a breath.

You reach across the table and rest your hand on his. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." He smiles at you, trying desperately to make his way back to normalcy. If by some miracle you haven't picked up on his behavior veering just past friendly before, you're sure to pick up on how flustered he is right now. "Come on, tuck in, your food's going to get cold."

You start eating so he'll have one less thing distracting him, but you don't take your eyes off him.

"Fuck, you must think I'm about to die or somethin' with how I'm actin'. I'm sorry, it's not that big of a deal. It's just that I did plan this to tell you that I care about you— a lot. And I understand you in a way that Harry and Merlin don't, as much as you lot are kindred spirits in the stiff upper lip department ."

"I bet that was the name of Harry's frat club." You offer a smile and banter to put him at ease.

Sure enough, he grins. "Yeah, that seems about right." He sighs, finally taking a bite of his food, giving himself time to think.

"Food's good by the way."

"I told you, my mum." He looks up at you, still giving him that worried look. It's more muted now, but it's there all the same. "I um," he pauses, not wanting to sound accusatory. "Is there a reason you didn't tell me about your hearing impairment?"

You shrug. "It didn't seem necessary. It's not like I need you to accommodate me in any way."

He tries not to show how much those words hurt. He knows you're not being cold on purpose. That's the way you are sometimes. He takes a deep breath. "You know I want to, though, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I'm your friend and I want to make life easier for you even if you don't need me to. I mean that I'd like to be in the loop so I'm not taken off guard if something happens like it did today."

"Right." If it was any other interaction with him, you'd joke about this being intervention round two today. But you can tell this is bothering him for real. "Thanks for backing me up. Even if it threw you off."

He lets out a frustrated sigh. "I don't— I know that wasn't an apology, but it sounded suspiciously close to one and that's not what I want from you."

"What _do_ you want from me, Eggsy?" You stay calm like you're comforting a spooked animal.

"I need you to understand how much you mean to me. That I want to know every little thing about you because it's you. All I want is for you to let me in. You're great at listening and letting people think they know you, but none of us really do, do we?"

"I understand what you're saying and it's sweet. I get that we're close, and friends share that type of thing, but isn't this a bit dramatic? I can't hear out of one ear, so what? It's not like I'm a different person. You do know me, Eggs."

He nods. "No, you're right. I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't apologize. I don't want that from you either. You're trying to communicate and I called you dramatic. That was shitty."

He grins, pushing his food around his plate. "It was a bit dramatic, though, wasn't it?" He gazes up at you.

"I thought so, but hey, as close as we are, we're different types of people." You can see his face drop at that. "Noooo, Eggs, God, I'm bad at this, aren't I?"

He lets out a laugh. "I've seen better, but that's okay."

"Are you sure there isn't anything else?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just, you know you can talk to me, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

After that, you went to grab some wine and Eggsy took a breath and picked the conversation up. It was fine. Things went back to normal. He was his usual, cheeky self the rest of the night. Everything was fine. Sure, the beginning of the night stayed with you in the back of your head, but you'd overthink it later.

After the dishes were washed, the two of you headed to the couch for a movie. You picked something random on Netflix because you knew you'd never settle on anything otherwise. Whatever it was wasn't a good choice because it had you asleep in minutes. Well, it wasn't a good choice for entertainment purposes. As far as Eggsy was concerned, it couldn't have been a better choice because you fell asleep on his lap.

You wake halfway through the movie, in Eggsy's lap, his hands running through your hair soothingly. It's been a while since you had a night like this with him and despite the rocky start, you haven't been this relaxed in a long time. So, you don't move. You close your eyes and get lost in the utter safety and comfort you feel here, with him.

"God, I love you so fucking much." You hear him whisper above you. And well, you can't keep still after that, so you shoot up from his lap.

"What?"

"Jesus fucking shit." He falls back against the sofa with a hand over his heart. "I thought you were asleep. Scared the piss outta me." He mutters.

"No, before that. You said—"

He was starting to calm down from the scare you gave him but his eyes go wide now. "You sure you weren't hearin' the movie?"

You let out a breath. "Tonight makes sense now!"

"No, it doesn't."

"Eggsy cut the shit. I hit the nail on the head earlier when I made that joke about you confessing your undying love for me, didn't I? That's why you got so flustered. Man, I can't believe I didn't see it before. Not exactly classic Unwin behavior, is it?"

"You don't seem upset."

"Eggsy, fuck. We're both idiots."

"What're you on about?" He can't allow himself to believe it until he hears it from your lips.

"This." You put a finger under his chin, pulling him close, giving him time to register what's happening. His gaze dances across your face until it gets too close to focus and he surges in, connecting your lips. He adjusts his position so he's closer to you, sliding a hand to your waist and the other to run through your hair. As he does, his hand brushes your hearing aid, tweaking the wire, eliciting a sharp ringing from the device. You pull back at the high pitched noise and his face falls.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

"Hey, of course not." You give him a sweet peck on the lips, tucking the hearing aid back in place over your ear. "And I love you too."

He lets out a breath of relief. "Can we try that again, then? I'll try not to knock your hardware 'round this time."

"I have some ideas about other places you could put your hands until you get used to it being there."

"I've only had half a day with the information, love. And most of that time I was worrying about why you hadn't told me."

"I know. Now, shush up and show me what those hands can do, Unwin."

"You don't gotta tell me twice."

"I mean, I did but that's—"

He cuts you off with a kiss, sliding his hands under your shirt. "Give it a rest, will ya, love?" He unclasps your bra, slipping his hand to your breast, running his thumb over your nipple.

"Keep going how you're going and I can do that."

"Good."


End file.
